I had lunch with an old friend this week. Her father had fallen, and she was in town to figure out if he could remain in his house independently as he was insisting he could. I don’t envy her. I’ve been through it myself and it really just stinks on all fronts. But for me, I found my complex feelings weren’t just limited to caring for my elderly parent; it also forced me to confront my own aging at the same time.
Which actually isn’t the worst conversation to be having with yourself.
It’s something I frequently bring up with new clients as we discuss their renovation goals. I may ask them their thoughts on aging-in-place for either themselves or for an elderly relative. Some are interested in the conversation and some are not. But I think it’s a valuable thing to consider, if not for yourself then perhaps for resale.
I even think the term “age-in-place” is limiting because we are not just talking about the fragile elderly. Suppose your robust self is recovering from ACL surgery. Or maybe you are pregnant and on bed rest with a no-stairs directive. Or maybe your neighbor had her hip replaced and can’t be alone for a few weeks. Life is filled with the unexpected and there are lots of reasons why you may want, say, a first-floor bedroom with a shower that allows for crutches or even a walker.
I think everyone is a bit fearful that their bathroom will start to feel like it belongs in a nursing home, which I totally get. But incorporating some age-friendly modifications is totally different than becoming ADA compliant. Where The American Disabilities Act has strict requirements (many based on wheelchair use), age-in-place options for your own home are voluntary and you can pick and choose the ones you’d like to implement. Lots of them you won’t even notice.
Some of those considerations arise in unexpected places. For instance, when you update your electric panel, I may ask if you’d like to plan for an electric vehicle, even if you don’t own one. But it’s also not as silly as it sounds to think about the power needed for an elevator. Elevators are more common than you would think and are a valid option for those who don’t want, or can’t have, a first-floor bedroom. Does that sound over the top? I get it. I’m not saying you should install one, I’m just saying be smart about thinking ahead and keeping your options open for the future.
Not everyone needs an elevator of course. Some homes have a den or office that could be converted to first floor living if the need arose. So, if you are renovating that first floor bathroom anyway, why not include a walker-friendly, curb-free shower? They look amazing in their own right, so you’re not sacrificing aesthetically. Or suppose you only want a half bath downstairs because you’re creating the most amazing powder room ever. Well, I may be able to design it so that it could be easily converted down the road just by earmarking the space and stubbing some plumbing that tucks into your floor joists.
I guess the phrase that sums up my attitude about many age-in-place modifications is: Why not? If you are already renovating, why not implement some? Lots of them are invisible. For instance, in bathrooms, I always request blocking to go behind my towel bars—so that they don’t wobble themselves out of the plaster in a year or so. And it’s just as easy to add blocking for future grab bars at the same time. No one will force you to install them before you’re ready—but it’s good to know the blocking will keep them rock-solid if you do.
And here’s a quick shout-out to the humble grab bar: Thank you for being in handy places and keeping us safe. And thank you for not being as ugly as you used to be. I mean, Pottery Barn carries them for heaven’s sake, and they fit right in with your other hardware. Plus, the horizontal ones are good places to drape a washcloth. So, thank you, grab bars, for your service.
Another element to consider is door size. In New England our standard door width is 30-inches, which is tight for most walkers, but a 32-inch door will fit them more comfortably. And honestly, if you have the space, you will never notice the difference between the two sizes. 36-inch doors accommodate most wheelchairs, plus they are super handy to move large furniture in and out of. But not all rooms have the space for them, because a wider door also means a larger door swing. So, you’ll make decisions as your go, but it’s all good stuff to keep in mind.
I think some of the age-in-place elements just amount to good design. Take ample lighting for instance, with considerations made for task areas like under the kitchen cabinets. I always over-light in general and then install lots of dimmers, but there are also some night-light products that are worth considering. You can buy outlets and toggle switches with built-in night lights that are motion-sensored and come on automatically. It’s a very clean look that can help keep middle-of-the-night activities safe.
The last thing to consider is overall house maintenance. And this benefits anyone in your home, you included. They are mostly common sense. Try to keep clutter to a minimum, watch long dangling extension cords, fix uneven floors, make sure your handrails are in solid shape, and ask your pets to sleep in designated areas. There are many more suggestions, but the most important one is this: Ask for help. Or pay for help, if that feels better. Because you are special, and you are treasured. And if you’re smart, you can live in your home for a good long time.
– Jennifer Coles is a local interior designer. www.colescoloranddesign.com instagram: coles_color_and_design
